On Special First Times

I got a text from a folk few days back in which he expected me to say that, “Yes first kiss is very special.” I started laughing, not because I believed otherwise but on the innocence and naivety of his question. The thing is we have been brought up in such an over emotional romantic culture where a mother can’t be a mother enough unless she shed gallons and gallons of tears for the sake of her son (yeah they mostly cry for sons) and whose prayers can miraculously resurrect him from doom, where no one loves lesser then Heer Ranjha, Sassi Punno and Sohni Mahiwal (folk love stories). Where Paro (female lead charcter from movie Devdas) says “Phela pyar to umar kay faraq ke tarah hota hai jissay cha kar bhi nae mitta saktay.“
Over melodramatic digest literature where heroine always end up getting a handsome rich guy who will deliver her from every possible atrocity, and the typical Lollywood masala movies where people can get their “love at first sight” with 5-6 songs, some drama, some romance and then finally overriding the much talked about Simaj ke dewar (social pressures) serves as the impetus for this cultural emotional mania. Here every movie is a love story and every love story has a happy ending thus disseminating this obsession with romanticism in “first times”.
Can you remember the very first time you wrote any alphabet? Was that special or legible enough??? I guess No. Can you remember the very first time you had cooked, drove, swam, danced or played? Was there any special affects in them to make you compete for an Oscar in the Special Affects Category. Again NO. But yes after several attempts and with practice, you can get that special thing in whatever you have been doing.
There was a time when I used to think that when I’ll fall in love or kiss or have sex with someone very first time it would be very special but darn it all those first times were pathetic. I was so naïve without any experience and didn’t know what to do, and what I wanted from life. Gaia says a really wonderful thing and I agree with her on this, “Phelay pyar par potti kar kay usay flush out kar daina chahiye.” (One should poo at his/her first love and then flushes it out.)
My first kiss, uff it was so pathetic, the guy used to smoke a lot and when we started it in the college loo, I was like hell no but nevertheless I completed it, looking for that special moment in it as it was much anticipated first fucking kiss. And first time I got laid, nothing was special about it except my horniness and his desperation. So, lovelies, first things are mostly stupid and naive as we have preconceived notions about them and we forgot that there’s a difference between a reel life story and real life story where one has to kiss many frogs to get one’s prince charming.

(Image Courtesy: Konrad Mostert)