KARACHI SAGA

It is a long due post as it was supposed to be written shortly after my Karachi trip this August, but somehow I just couldn’t manage to write about this adventure. I don’t know how to put all my experiences in words because I feel out of words to aptly explain what I felt during those few days. Still I am going to try. This post is an apology to all the people of Karachi whom I did hurt repeatedly with my emotional drama and they bore with endless patience. This is also a pledge not to repeat my mistakes as there are lot of other new mistakes waiting for me to be considered. Since my last visit almost a year back, I have been considering of revisiting Karachi for a while but wasn’t sure about it. The month of Ramazan was going on I was spending all my time in reading several books this August. I was severely depressed from quite some time and had no social life at all. But one evening I met Boze who made me realize my follies and issues which left me shaken, like seriously. I never thought that meeting will mark a defining change in my life. After that I started re-evaluating my life, especially my actions during last few months. Therefore, after hitting the bottom, I decided to change and this time for good. So, I thought why not start ‘mending my ways’ from Karachi, the city I never liked and the people I never understood. I took few days off from my work and started a journey to re-learn and re-discover the city and the people with whom I had a connection. I booked a seat with Daewoo Bus service and went out for a 21 hours long journey, almost across the whole country. While commuting, I was wondering what if the people I really want to meet and apologize will deny meeting me? I was so unsure of their reaction because now the tables have turned and I don’t know what this trip will bring on. Phunko was busy during my visit so he apologized for his unavailability while Jadoo, as usual was as welcoming as always to receive me. I was more concerned about Barbie to whom I was definite to meet and to Gollu Mollu about whom I hadn’t decided till then. To my relief when I texted Barbie about my visit he responded affirmatively even after the way I treated him during last one year. To fill you in with the details, for a whole year I was hurting him with my sarcasm and negative attitude, just because he couldn’t meet me during my last visit. He apologized many times but I never listened to his apologies and treated him badly. I used to say hurtful things to him, had fights with him over chat or phone but I never knew that it was also hurting me from inside. I still remember that after every fight I used to whine about over my last visit and looked for reasons to irritate him more and more. I wanted him to leave me but I also wanted him to stay back so that I could use him as an emotional punching bag. I must salute that guy with a mighty heart who bore all my tantrums rather psychological abuse with patience and never let go of me. I must take this opportunity to extend my apologies once again to him for all my behavior and I want him to know that I am so proud of him for being in my life and showing me that patience do have a capacity to win over. DAY 1: Amid the target killings and regular street violence I stepped out of the bus at Karachi terminal in Sohrab Goth, an area known for all the wrong reasons. Coming from Lahore and been a follower of local news channels, Karachi seemed the most dangerous city on the map of Pakistan so the first thing I did was to start scrutinizing everyone around me as a potential street criminal. I left the terminal soon in the shuttle service, and was welcomed by the roadside typical Karachi black/brown shrubs. The shuttle was moving in the city, over flyovers and dropping passengers here and there while I was trying to make out where I was by looking around at the shops, flats and houses but I just couldn’t make any sense because in Karachi you will not find any shop or house with its address. So no one can make sense of the area they are traveling. Meanwhile I saw some shop with the real name of Gollu Mollu and I felt a pang in my heart and at that moment I decided to also text him and request to meet me. For the context, just like Barbie, Gollu Mollu also couldn’t meet me during my last visit and had been treated no different from Barbie. To my surprise, he answered quite excitedly and in affirmation. While traveling to my rest house, I came across a new walk chalking, i.e. “Nara-e-Farooqi-Ya Umar(R.A)”. I had never seen this slogan before in my life and started wondering about its political significance and sectarian. After I checked in, I texted Barbie about my arrival and got ready for my late afternoon lunch with him. I was excited as well as anxious about this meeting. The Forum mall was on a 4 minutes’ walk from my rest house and we decided to meet there. I reached earlier and he joined shortly after my arrival. We hugged each other and first thing I noticed about him was his smile, his understandable awkwardness and his Urdu. We went inside, looked around, bought books and landed up in the food court and placed our order. After general causal talk, we started talking about queer politics, an area where we disagree with each other a lot and I thought, “Shit! I shouldn’t start off with this issue as it will ruin my purpose of meeting him.” Thanks to a phone call which rescued us and our conversation took another casual direction afterwards. After the meal we decided to go some open space and finally ended up Farrer Hall. I had heard a lot about the place as it’s allegedly a place for gay meet ups, hook ups and dating. It was a Saturday evening and I thought of witnessing all this exciting stuff with my own eyes. We got into a rickshaw and had our first photo-shoot together, which was fun. When we reached there, I noticed a park without any boundary wall and populated with countless heterosexual couples of different sizes and shapes with their whining children. All my excitement vanished always like a day dream so thought to spice up the park. There I had my notorious and attention seeking photo-shoot which gained instant attention, glares and gossips. Then we bought our favorite Orange ice lollies, and I trained Barbie about blowjob by licking and sucking that lolly. After all this fun stuff, we sat down on a bench, under a big tree and had our long due heart to heart talk. I apologized from Barbie who proved to be a genuine friend throughout the abused year of our friendship. I admire him, respect him and love him for his patience, maturity and understanding. The feeling of serenity, relief and understanding were almost spiritual at that time and never wanted to end it but we both have other plans so we bid farewell to each other for the day after making plans for tomorrow. I met Jadoo for the Dinner at Café Koel where I had the most amazing Limo panni of my life, though food was average but ambiance was nice. Jadoo was as welcoming and comforting as always. And at times I really wonder at the rare species of human beings he belong to. We talked about our lives, our work and my visit plans. He brought a book for me entitled ‘Forty Rules of Love’ by Elif Sahafak which he has been recommending me from a long time. By the title I thought it to be some stupid teenage romance but Jadoo insisted that it was different from what I assumed it to be. When I read the synopsis on the back of its cover, I found out that the book was all about the relationship between Rumi and Shams which wasn’t exciting enough for me. Because I never liked Rumi or his poetry and I still remember bunking my most favorite classes of Classics of World Literature course when we were reading Rumi. And now after so many years, once again Rumi was in front of me and I didn’t know how to react, other than thanking Jadoo for bringing that book. But now after reading that book, I must say that it is one of the very few books who have inspired me. I will soon write about a detailed post on the books which have inspired me. DAY 2: I had planned a Lunch with Gollu Mollu and was thinking whether he will be able to make it this time or not. What if he would back out this time again? Whatever was going to happen, I have decided to remain positive and understanding instead of bringing a storm in the cocktail. Interestingly, he wasn’t aware of the directions of his native city and I had to guide him with the limited knowledge I had of my where about, as he was driving to my side of town. I came on main road for his convenience and also praying not to be mugged. To be on the safer side, I wasn’t using my cellphone and I was wearing six pocket pants with money in every pocket. I was standing near the underpass when I saw his car approaching and while coming towards me he almost crashed into another car. I froze for a brief moment with the fear but fortunately nothing bad happened. He rushed out of the car and gave me a ceremonial hug while I was asking him commenting over his stunt. We both got in car and then he started laughing, non-stop till we reached Olivetto. Food was really nice there and we had a heart to heart talk about our past, our experiences and how we are going to move on with our friendship. I was happy to see him, humbled that he was able to make it this time and satisfied to have him back as a friend in my life. Then he took me to the other part of town, treated me with fruit cocktail at Hydri and then we reached to Barbie’s place who was in an awkwardly bad mood. After scolding poor Gollu Mollu and hearing me surprised he came back to his usual fun self and from there onwards we three had a blast in car; clicked fun pictures; gossiped about people; and had a complete gay drama, whose leading actor was obviously me. Gollu Mollu had to leave so he dropped us at Zainab Market where Barbie got me few jeans on special Lahori discount. Then Barbie got a quick lunch and tickets a movie for tomorrow and we went to Farrer Hall again and had our Orange ice lollies, photo-shoot, unfruitful poondi and bought few books. I was surprised to notice that Farrer Hall is also called Bagh-e-Jinnah, just like we call Lawrence Gardens in Lahore and interestingly both Baghs are notorious for gay dating and hook ups. From there we started walking towards Zainab Market though I was reluctant initially as I thought that roads of Karachi were not safe after dusk, courtesy: our news channels. Barbie laughed a lot over it which made me feel stupid. There I saw a really interesting new thing, ‘Call a rick’ a door to door pick and drop rickshaw service with headphones to listen music while commuting. We reached Zainab Market safely and had a street push cart limo pani with rooh afza. This marked the end of another exciting day in Karachi. DAY 3: Had yummy chicken cheese parathas in breakfast at Boat basin with a very energetic and talkative guy I came to know through Facebook. While had lunch with an introvert and young guy also from Facebook. Although getting into rickshaw and reaching Atrium for lunch also involves a story where the driver had flirted with me like anything, especially after knowing that I was from Lahore. He offered to take me to Hawkes Bay and show me the sea and when he dropped me, opposite of Atrium, he candidly asked if I need him to escort me across the road as it’s a big city and he didn’t want me to get afraid of traffic, to which I replied, “Lahore main bhi kaafi traffic hoti hai, magar Lahore walay itnay tharki nae hotay.” (Lahore also has huge traffic but they aren’t flirtatious like you). Barbie joined me there after I waited for him like ages. We had quick coffee session and just banged into the cinema for the movie. Movie was OK but I enjoyed Barbie’s company. After that we had dinner at Pizza Hut and again talked about our lives and future plans. I reached back at my guest house with a severe headache. I took pills and tried to sleep while my friends were calling or texting me to wish me on my birthday. This birthday was really special to me as I was turning 28 on 28 and somehow I felt it’s important. Messages from Boze and Agony gave me enough courage to ask for apologies for my ill treatment and extremely bad behavior. Later that night I met another guy from Facebook who was so kind enough to see me over a cup of tea at Boat basin. DAY 4: I had plans to have an exclusive birthday party at some fancy sea side restaurant and some cake cutting ceremony but unfortunately Barbie and Gollu Mollu got some emergency and couldn’t make up for my birthday get together. I felt bad about these sudden emergencies but I said to myself that it’s OK. So, it was just me and Jadoo for my birthday Dinner where we treated ourselves with at BOTS and I had a yummy meal full of sea food along with equally refreshing and tasty blueberry cocktail. After that we went to Café Blue Ginger to have the yummiest Potato and Leek soup and with no space left in our bellies for cake, we head back to our places. I bid farewell to Jadoo as I was leaving in the morning. Next day I left for Lahore with a peace of mind and satisfied heart. This trip provided me with an opportunity to give myself a chance to unburden myself from the bitter emotional baggage of fights, misunderstanding and grudges I was carrying from a long time. And last but not the least; I stopped negatively stereotyping Karachi and Karachities which is not just an impression but a lifelong learning experience.

PHUNKO ZINDABAD!!!

I came to know of Phunk Factor (Phunko) when he started commenting on my articles in Chay magazine, several moons back. He seemed to have a rational and secular approach towards the issues which other people might interpret in a religiously orthodox manner. So, after sometime, out of nowhere, I thought of looking up for him on Facebook and send him in a friend request. While searching him, I realized that he's actively writing blogs, which was a pleasant surprise. I still remember when I found out about his blogs very first time, I remained glued to my PC and by the end of almost two hours, I had read most of his romantic encounters and experiences and I was like 'Wow'. I could never imagine that anyone can actually write so openly about gay politics and subjective romantic/sexual experiences in such an open and blatant way, without any scruples. Reading his posts made me a bit embarrassed as well as excited at the same time. I was behaving like those self proclaimed morally righteous bitches who love to gossip but while chanting 'tauba tauba' at the same time.

After he accepted my friend request, we started talking, texting, emailing and tagging each other in various links at Facebook. Adding him also earned me a plethora of individuals at Facebook who wanted to be 'friends' with me. But that's another story, which I post some other day. Initially when I started talking to him, I was kind of skeptic about him because of two reasons. One, he was younger than me and in my experience, younger gay guys with somewhat LGBTQI awareness acts too immature when it’s about activism in Pakistan. Two, he was so much Burger that I thought I wouldn’t be able to relate to him in any way. He talks in English most of the time, and that’s also with an accent and I just can't bear so much English. I am desi guy who uses English out of necessity but in spite of these two reservations, I continued to be in contact with him and slowly and gradually I discovered the real Phunko who's so simple and pure of heart. Moreover, now as I look back and try to make sense out of our friendship then I think that apart from other reasons and rationales, it was GLEE also which help us to bond with each other.

Though we did have few differences but through our maturity, mutual respect and value for each other, we went through difficult times. I guess every relation has to go through this process, which actually testifies the credibility and durability of the relationship. We were two different people with two different cities and cultures in different fields but writing for same cause, LGBTQI community and that conquered all. The guy who used to be a gentleman started calling me "Didi, Baaji and Khusri" and other G-talk terms (call it Gay talk, it's an informal desi slang kinda sexually explicit and fun oriented style and mannerism apart from being a language). He was opening up to new ideas imported from Lahore and I was making myself at ease to write about my intimate encounters, as openly and honestly like Phunko. He was an inspiration in that regard.

Phunko always make me feel energize and happy and fortunately without any Khusri Drama (gay melodrama). Unlike majority of the gay men, he didn't have any emotional or psychological hiccups; any leftover (ex) in his mind, low self esteem issues or delusions of grandiose, he seemed quite grounded and comfortable in his skin for being what he is. And that's make him even more hooottttt. We had always wanted to meet each other and after more than a year I got this opportunity to visit Karachi, his hometown, to meet my online brother, friend and inspiration.

He was hell busy with a lot of things going on in his personal and professional life and I had few days with a lot of work to do as well. But still we reassured each other of meeting one another and as he put it, "It will a benchmark in the history, Hadi Hussain LGBTQI activist and blogger is meeting equally genius blogger Phunk Factor, Lahore meeting Karachi." I laughed at the way he put that thing into words but actually on a serious note, it was like that. Though I did have the fear that like many other Karachities, he might just ditch me in the end but he met me in real.
Despite time constraints and professional liabilities, we both managed to meet each other, once, for lunch. I have always objected at Phunko for meeting up guys in malls and paradoxically we both ended up meeting in a mall. As I got out of rickshaw in front of the mall, I saw a cute little guy waving his hand with a big smile. Though I had seen him virtually, but still the experience to see him very first time in real life was so much exciting. After showing off my khusri walk across the road I wen to the Phunko the hero, who was wearing a blue superman tee-shirt. We hugged each other and then tucked into the mall after letting guards put their dirty hands on us (for security reasons you know, off course you know we are sex bombshells).

Now if you ask me how he was, then I will straight (though it's really hard for me to be but still) away say that he was simply adorable. There was a certain innocence wrapped in wit which made him an outstanding guy. We went through all the floors of the mall, while chatting and posing in front of movie flexes and posters. Worth mentioning photo was in front of the poster of Desi Boys (Bollywood movie) in which I tried to kiss semi nude John Abraham. After cruising around on not so hot guys (I told Phunko that I haven’t encountered a single hot guy in his city, and that's a shame) we decided to have a meal, thus we ordered stuff and once again sharing mouth watering gossips, along with heart to heart emotional stuff.

After the food, we ordered some dessert suggested by Phunko and it was really awesome. I don't know it was chocolate rush of the dessert that I started singing "Oh la la, tu hai meri fantasy" along with all the "ahhh ahhh" (rather adding few more ahhhhhs at different places as well) and Phunko was like "stop it bitch" as it was obviously audible to the people around us. Though he thoroughly enjoyed it and asked me to mail him a recording of the song in my own voice. We talked about our friend Aaron Khan and decided to make him jealous of the blast we both had together.

Although I so much wanted to spend some more time with Phunko but I had to run back to my work so I resigned and hugged my adorable little friend and got on a rickshaw. I was really happy and satisfied after meeting Phunko which made me think that at least some Karachities are real and who didn’t try to pretend someone else. He made me believe in him as well as in the goodness of real people and I'll always cherish that feeling. The comfort level we used to have online or at phone was there and without any reservation we were communicating. It wasn't as if I was meeting some alien who I was hardly aware of. I suppose we were never masked since our very first interaction and that's the reason we really got along well with each other.
Thanks Phunko for being who you are, and for the respect and love you have showed towards me, especially when others were having a cow. Bear hugs for you.

Photo Courtesy: Phunk Factor